#python lover
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Mostly screaming into the void with this one but I'm almost to the end of earning my Bachelor's and I've got something to say.
It is not edgy or subversive to redirect your hatred onto animals that you deem morally impure or to try and yassify misunderstood creatures.
"Sea otters assault their females to death and drown their pups" they are still a cornerstone species worth protecting and whole ecosystems are suffering for the loss of them.
"Sharks are just ocean puppies and big sweeties." No they're not, they are apex predators and you have to treat them with respect. Saying they're not capable of aggression or completely misunderstood is still spreading misinformation, you cannot generalize a group of animals like this.
"Dolphins are super smart and actually capable of understanding that some of their behaviors are evil" I am actually going to break into your house and steal your shoes if you say this to me.
"Charismatic megafauna are useless and overrated and taking away from underappreciated species that Really need our help" wrong again dipshit. Animals like pandas, elephants, whales, and others that I'm sure you're tired of seeing plastered everywhere are important to get the general public involved. It's called PR (and while I wish it wasn't necessary and that people would care regardless I digress) and what conservation work IS done based around them is advantageous to other threatened species that share their habitat.
As someone going into the field of ecological conservation and marine biology, I have met one too many people who think it's okay to say a certain animal doesn't deserve to be protected because it makes them feel yucky or just because they think it doesn't deserve it. I shouldn't have to tell you why that is SO not okay. The underappreciated and overrated can both exist, you don't need to proselytize people into hating dolphins just so sharks can get their dues.
You're also allowed to just dislike an animal! But if you sensationalize their behaviors that are morally incorrect by human standards, then I am begging you to reevaluate yourself, get more educated on the subject, and talk to a real ecologist.
No creature on this planet deserves to be eradicated just because you are personally offended by their natural behaviors or deem them unfit to take up space.
#ecology#marine biology#idk man im tired of seeing busted ass takes like this#esp when they come from my peers who are self proclaimed animal lovers#and then incapable of critically analyzing their narrow minded views of conservation and ecology#this goes for invasive species as well btdubs#those species did not choose to be here and if you take pleasure in their eradication I am judging you severely#managing them is a necessity and there should be no joy taken in the loss of life of these creatures#they deserve your respect regardless#that last one is @ those âwildlife influencersâ in florida who think it's fun to torture invasive pythons for views#commentary
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Photos of pretty insects Iâve taken over the years ⥠plus my snake Ramona when she was a bb
#nature#photography#savannah#insects#replies#ball python#pets of tumblr#moth post#moth lovers#fly#beatle#thereâs a snake in my purse#small creatures#bugs#snake#pet snake#bug lover#my photography#coogipants
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Just a friendly reminder!!
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Commission Info | Buy me a coffee | Stickers and Prints
#snake#snek#ball pythons#ball python morph#cute snake#reptiles#reptile#reptile lover#self care#herpetology#herps#snakes#reptile keeper#ball python#reptile art#animals#illustration
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Morelia Viridis, aka Green Tree Python!
Sono stupendi, il mio serpente preferito... Hanno dei colori bellissimi, e vivono avendo caratteristiche uniche, diverse da tutti gli altri serpenti!!! đđđđđđ
#snake#python#snake breeding#green#green snake#morelia Viridis#green tree python#nature#animals#animal lover#beauty of nature#snakes#snake lover#exotic#exotic animals
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I think we might be backâŚ.
#animals#wildlife art#wildlife#green tree python#morelia#snake keeper#reptile lovers#reptile keeping#reptile art#reptile keeper#reptiblr#ash draws#personal work
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(Background for this: My headcanon for Python is that he has the torso of a human, but with a snake head and a tail instead of legs)
When he first met Python, Wels was adamant on defeating the hermit in battle. After all, he was a knight, and Python was a serpent. How could he pass up the opportunity to slay a serpent?
Python, however, thought Wels was absolutely adorable. He would constantly pester the knight just to watch him get all huffy. Every morning, Wels would draw his sword and challenge Python to a duel, and every time, Python would coil around Wels and coo at him like he was a puppy. Poor Wels couldn't stand it.
One day, Python finally accepted Wels' challenge. The duel took all morning, but eventually, Wels was decided as the victor. That is, until Python confessed to letting him win. His reasoning? The knight was too cute, he just HAD to give him the victory. Wels was irritated of course, but Python's "Bambi eyes" were enough to convince Wels to challenge the serpentine hermit to a date instead.
Even now, further into their relationship, Wels gets huffy when Python brings it up. He worked hard for that victory, then just to find out Python wasn't even fighting at full strength?
See, Python doesn't actually need to fight at full strength. He's a serpent. He's cooler than that. Wels would probably beat him with ease in a proper duel, but Python isn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing it.
He much prefers coiling his hand into Wels' anyway.
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I am so in love with these new art prints! I couldnât decide on the morph to use so decided to try out 2 different variants! These are starting out as art prints first but what else should I make them into? Acrylic charms or tote bags would be cute too?
#digital art#digital artist#digital illustration#original art#snake art#ball python#banana ball python#nope rope#snake lover#etsyseller#etsy art prints#etsysmallbusiness#artists on etsy#art print#artists on tumblr#artprint
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EAGLE FIGHTS SNAKE MID AIR TO SAVE HER BABIES đŚ
đ UNBELIEVABLE SKY BATTLE...a
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So... I am on a snake sidequest đ
đ
A friend of mine had to leave the UK on short notice for 2 months and asked if I could look after his 2 ball pythons and dwarf reticulated python. He had already rescued them from such situations before where someone couldn't look after them, and I thought to myself, god, i literally take pigeons in from the street when they need a home, so now I have 3 snakes in my room. đ¤Ł
Now, I've always been very fond of reptiles and I have experience looking after them a little, but I'm no snake guy! Thankfully, my partner wants to have pet snakes properly in the future so she is excellent with them and has taught me a lot. Aside from the monthly Ratpocalypse, which is not that bad besides the smell, they are so easy to look after and are super tame. These particular snakes have always been around people and they're like curious little puppies!
They're wonderful pets and I'm going to be sad to see them go, but it has to be so we can properly adopt our feral disabled pigeon friend. He is suddenly much more curious about coming inside (right when we have snakes! Damn itđ¤Ł) and hops on our arms or hands to eat. He sometimes sits on my partner's shoulder when she plays video games too.
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Hi Tumblr! I draw creepy crawlies!
If you have an idea for a doodle, send me an ask ^__^
You can find my commission info here
If you like my work consider tipping me <3
I have stickers and prints for sale on Society6
#reptile lover#reptile art#herpetology#herp#snake#ball python#snek#snekblr#animals#illustration#my snek#snakes#snek speaks
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arent echoes archers already amazing?
So Iâm actually incredibly archer biased and generally think theyâre the best. Echoes really catered to me going âhey do you want 50% crit chance on a 5 range attackâ and I was in heaven. Killer bow Leon absolutely carried my game.
Python, however, never saw a strength level and couldnât hit for shit and was me eternal disappointment. I tried. I tried but he failed me.
#this is my own Python slander#Iâm sure most people got decent pythons#and the game was mean to me and denied him anything useful#even when I - known archer lover - deserved more
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Incredible Scene: Python's Water Journey After a Huge Meal đđ˝ď¸đ#shorts #...
#nature lovers#snakes#python#wildlife#wild animals#nature photographers#nature#national geographic#natureencounters#animal photography#animal lovers#animals#animal behavior#animal swallow#youtube shorts#animal of tumblr
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Your money builds the world around you. Together we can make sure your savings power in social progress.
#programming#python#rpg maker#one piece#ryan gosling#rwby#naruto#mp100#across the spiderverse#star wars#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#simon ghost riley#flight rising#rise of the tmnt#daniel ricciardo#love quotes#lovers#love#life#relationship#i love him#self love#feeling#hip hop#hope#trip hop#el hopper#bede#galar#pokemon sword and shield
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python | csc
Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x GN!Reader
Synopsis: When you broke up with your boyfriend to work in a different country, you didn't expect to see him ever again. But when you transfer to your company's Seoul branch four years later, the department head is your ex, and heâs made it his objective to make your life a living hell for leaving him all those years ago.
Content: Angst, Fluff, Comfort | Exes to Lovers | Office AU
Tags: emotions, miscommunication, heartache, workaholic!seungcheol, insecure reader, drinking, crying, begging, petnames (sweetheart, love), konglish w/ translations, no "y/n," this is for everyone who voted for cheol in the poll, loosely connected to too nice (joshua)
Word Count: 10.2K
âI hate him,â you seethe, your fists balled up, crumpling your rejected proposal. âGod, I hate him.â
Your coworker, Joshua Hong, looks up from his cubicle with raised eyebrows. âWho?â
You breathe in deeply, willing your rage to dissipate at the sight of his confusion. Poor Joshua doesnât deserve your anger. âNo one,â you say, clenching your jaw.Â
Open-mouthed, Joshua blinks rapidly, eyes flitting over to glance at the office you had just walked out of. The door to the room is marked with a name plate that has ěľěšě˛ [Choi Seungcheol] in bold, gold letters.Â
âIâm fine,â you insist, hands uncrumpling the document you had just attacked.Â
âUh, okay?â he says with a healthy dose of doubt, elongating the âoâ in âokay.âÂ
âI justââ you begin, then immediately shut your mouth. âUgh, forget it.â
Itâs one thing to crumple a proposal up, and another thing to start bad-mouthing your boss out in the open. You throw the tattered outline onto your desk, then plop yourself onto your chair. You rub your temples, and then mutter under your breath, âHow did I get here?â
âGood question,â Joshua laughs. âCompany synergy?âÂ
You groan, âDonât ever say that word again in my presence.âÂ
âMmh,â he says, walking over to your cubicle. âYou wonât have to worry about my presence in a few months.âÂ
âDonât remind me,â you sigh, dropping your head in your hands.Â
Joshua would be leaving the Seoul branch and transferring to the New York branch in a few weeks.Â
Curse your company for its commitment to âworkplace synergy,â swapping out a handful of employees across all departments in its international branches every few years. If it hadnât been for this horrible program, you wouldnât be here right now.Â
You want to rip out your own hair, at this point.
How did it even get to this? You shut your eyes, thinking back to older times.Â
When you first got a job offer at the New York branch of your dream company, your initial reaction was elation. Your second? Doubt. Leaving Seoul was almost unthinkable, not to mention the fact that youâd be leaving your boyfriend behind, too.Â
For the first few days after hearing back from the recruiter, you knew youâd accept, but kept the news to yourself. Youâd heard of so many horror stories about long-distance dating, and after a long period of consideration, you wondered what the point was.Â
You knew your boyfriendâreally knew him. You knew heâd make sacrifices for you at the expense of himself, and it was impossible for you to accept bogging him down with a 14 hour time difference. Heâd stay up waiting for your calls, instead of getting much needed rest. Heâd worry about you all the time, checking the weather in Manhattan instead of Seoul and calling you constantly instead of his family and friends. Heâd wait on you for as long as you needed, in an almost obsessive way, thinking it could make up the difference in distance. But he deserved someone who could love him in person, all of the time.Â
Itâd be better for Seungcheol if you just let him go, freeing him to focus on what mattered more to him. Like work.
He loved you too much to break things off with you himself, so it was better that you did it. For his own good.Â
Thatâs what you told him, at least.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Four Years Ago
âCheol,â you said, teary-eyed. âCheol, look at me.â
Seungcheol stared blankly at the ground, face frozen.Â
âPlease?â your voice cracked.
âWho are you to tell me what I can and canât handle?â he suddenly choked out, eyes flashing with hurt. His hands clenched, like he was holding himself back from saying more.
You swallowed thickly, reaching for his arm. âCheol, Iââ
âDonât call me that,â he said, snatching his hand away from you.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
But you had hidden the real reasons for the breakup.Â
Because, deep down, you had always suspected otherwise. Somehow, everything had just become so complicated. Loving Seungcheolâwhich had once been something as easy as breathingâhad become a dull pain in your chest, clouding your every thought with insecurities.Â
Even from the start of the relationship, youâd loved him more, anyway. Back then, you didnât mind it because you loved him so much, and he was always so, so sweet to you. But around the time of the job offer, paranoia had reared its ugly head, kicking your uncertain thoughts into overdrive.Â
It was obvious that he didnât really love you anymore. While you were job seeking, he was distracted. Always checking his phone, not really listening to what you had to say. He made time for you, but he didnât necessarily make you feel like he loved you as deeply as you did himâit didnât feel like he was the same guy that you started dating.Â
Something about his actions just felt like he did them to claim that he loved you, rather than because he actually loved you. His actions were laced with a kind of surface level, superficial quality.Â
Heâd take you out to a fancy dinner, open the door for you, pay for the meal, drive you homeâall the gentlemanly things he did when you started dating, too. But on the car ride there and back, and while sitting down eating together, he wouldnât remember the things you had said about the little things happening in your lifeâa major change, when compared to the start of your relationship.Â
And sure, he didnât have an obligation to remember your next door neighbor's name. But shouldnât he remember your favorite kind of pie, or your closest cousinâs name? Shouldnât he just know not to check his phone every time it pings with a new email, or leave you to eat your stupid expensive pasta alone as he takes a call outside?
It was almost like Seungcheol had fallen out of love with you, but was staying with you out of some kind of obligation to continue what he had started? That was your only explanation for why heâd spend time with you, but wouldnât pay close attention to the things you said. Every Thursday was movie night, and in hopes of trying to keep him away from work, you let him choose the movie every time. But what use was that, when he spent more time looking at his phone than the TVâand more importantly, you, for that matter?Â
Youâd been dating a ghost of a man. While you loved him, he tolerated you.Â
If the two of you stayed together when you went abroad, heâd probably double down on texts, but he wouldnât really remember anything youâd said if you mentioned details about them in calls.Â
You didnât bring any of these fears up to him, because you knew that he would continue to deny it. In fact, youâd imagined it in your head so much that you could see it when closing your eyes to sleep. If you confronted him, heâd deny that he didnât love you anymore. But heâd be staring at the ground instead of looking at you. He wouldnât admit that he was only with you because he enjoyed the consistency of your affection, and because he somewhat pitied youâand most importantly to him, because he wanted to prove to himself that he chose correctly when he started dating you.Â
The pain of watching the love of your life push down his repulsion just to be with you was decidedly more horrifying than the pain of breaking up with him altogether.Â
Right before ending things, it had occurred to you that Seungcheol might not have ever loved you in the first place, and that just hammered in the idea that you were making the right decision. Heâd get over the breakup fast. Heâd probably be thankful for it in a few years, even. If you saw him again, youâd both probably laugh, and in his head, heâd realize that he was grateful that you ended things so that he could focus on his real love, his career.Â
If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that there was a bit of selfishness driving the breakup, as well. There was no way you could handle Seungcheol sacrificing things for youâif he lost sleep over you, if he worried about you, if he was distracted by youâbecause you knew he wouldnât be doing it for love.Â
Because he only ever cared out of a superficial need to prove to himself that he made the right decision in asking you out all those years ago. Not because he really loved you.Â
Yes, he probably never loved you, and he would never know the real reason why you ended things.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Four Years Ago
âYou give up so easily,â he spat out. âWas I nothing to you?â
Tears were running down your face. âDonât. Donât make this harder than it needs to be.â
Seungcheol laughed, then buried his head in his hands. âGod, to think I almostââÂ
He stopped, jaw tightening, then shook his head like he couldnât believe it.
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
A hand comes down sharply on your desk, jolting you awake.Â
âSleeping while on duty?â
Wide-eyed, with tear-stained cheeks, you look up to face your ex-boyfriend. âëśěĽë! [Department Head!]âÂ
Upon seeing your red-rimmed eyes, Seungcheol falters.
Swiping at your under eyes quickly, you bow your head to him slightly. âIâm sorry, it wonât happen again.â
He swallows roughly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He opens his mouth, like heâs about to ask you why you were crying, and your heart drops.Â
You will crumble if you hear the tone of voice he had used when you broke up with him.
âExcuse me,â you blurt with choked words.Â
You donât dare to look at his eyes. Instead, you get up from your seat, then immediately flee to the bathroom.
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Four Years Ago
âYou can focus on work, now,â you squeaked out.Â
Seungcheol scoffed again, a cruel sound of disbelief. âWhat makes you think I give a damn about work right now?â
âDonât you? Always?â you sniffled.
His eyes flashed with something you couldnât quite describe. He seemed angry, but not just at you. At himself, tooâhis hands were balled into fists at his sides, fingernails digging sharply into his palms. His throat bobbed, and you could see the intense restraint he was forcing on himself. He opened his mouth with a sharp breath, then closed it again, as if he wanted to say something but stopped himself.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
You stare with glassy eyes at yourself in the mirror, trying to calm your racing heart down. It would be alright. You would be alright.Â
If you just focused on your work, it would be fine.Â
Leaving the bathroom, you square your shoulders. Youâll draft up a new proposal that suits his standards, and youâll do it so excellently that he canât possibly reject it.Â
Hours later, and youâre standing outside Seungcheolâs office again. Taking a deep breath, you walk in without knocking or announcing yourself.Â
The stack of papers trembles in your hands as you place them on Seungcheolâs desk. You keep your expression blank, steadying your breath, willing yourself not to let any emotion slip. âThis is the revised proposal.â
Seungcheol doesnât look up immediately. He takes his time flipping through the pages, his expression unreadable. The tension in the room is suffocating, thick with words left unsaid from years ago. You stand stiffly, waiting, watching the way his fingers drag across the paper. Finally, he exhales sharply and sets the proposal down.
The room is unbearably silent as the question of approval hangs in the air. Your heart pounds so loudly you swear he can hear it.
He should say no immediately. It would be the easiest answer. The logical one. The one you expect.
But he hesitates.
His fingers curl against the polished surface of his desk, and his gaze lingers on the documents in front of him for just a second too long. Itâs subtleâanyone else might not noticeâbut you do. His mask falters. Just a flicker.
And for a split second, you let yourself hope.
Then, his jaw tightens. His hands retreat beneath the table, as if physically pulling himself back. When he finally speaks, his voice is steady, controlled, and restrainedânothing like the eager, puppy-like man you knew him as when you first started dating.
âWeâll have to decline,â he says, and itâs final. Unshakable. Like he hadnât wavered at all.
You nod stiffly, as if you hadnât just watched something slip through his fingers. As if it hadnât slipped through yours, too.
âDecline?â you blurt.
His face remains impassive. âYes.â
You blink at him, momentarily stunned. You had anticipated that he would be difficult, but thisâitâs too fast, too dismissive.
You steel yourself. âWhy?â
âItâs not good enough.â
Your fingers clench around the hem of your blazer. âCanât you separate private and work life?â
He meets your gaze, eyes dark and cool. âI am.â His voice is devoid of any warmth. âI donât care. Your proposal is bad.â
The words strike harder than they should, more than just a professional critique. A cruel, deliberate dismissal. You know itâs personalâfor the past two weeks that youâve been at the Seoul branch, it has always been personal when it comes to him. Your blood simmers.
âI see.â You force your voice to remain level. âWould you like to point out whatâs wrong with it?â
His lips press into a thin line. âNo.â
A sharp, bitter laugh escapes you. âOf course not.â
Seungcheol leans back in his chair, arms crossing over his chest. âFour years ago, you didnât choose me. So why should I choose your useless proposal?â
The shift is abrupt, the air sucked out of the room in an instant. Your nails dig into your palms.
âI have never loved anyone more than I loved you.â The words leave your lips before you can stop them, the truth of them ringing through the silence.
He scoffs, but thereâs a flicker of something in his eyes, something raw. âYou left me,â he says, voice edged with something dangerously close to hurt. âYou. Left. Me.â
Your breath shudders. âYou left me first.â
He leans forward, eyes searching yours, like heâs daring you to take it back. âHow?â His voice is quieter now, but no less intense. âHow did I leave you, when I was the one you abandoned in Seoul?â
Your vision blurs slightly. This. This is why it never worked between the two of you. Heâs too bull-headed to even consider that he was in the wrong.Â
You shake your head. âWhy didnât you fight for us?â
His jaw tightens. âWhy didnât you?â
A bitter taste coats your tongue. âYou gave up so easily.â
His eyes flash. âNo,â he says sharply, âyouâre the one who brought up work all the time.â
Your hands tremble. âBecause if it wasnât about work, you wouldnât talk to me!â
That stuns him. His mouth opens slightly, but nothing comes out. His brows knit together, the first crack in his mask of indifference.
You exhale shakily, pressing forward. âBecause if I talked about anything else, I knew you wouldnât listen,â you whisper, voice breaking. âI knew Iâd be talking to a man who loved the idea of me more than he actually loved me.â
Seungcheol flinches as if you had struck him. His throat bobs, hands clenched into fists on top of his desk. âThatâs not true,â he grits out, but thereâs something in his voiceâsomething unsteady, like the words are slipping through his fingers before he can stop them.
âIsnât it?â you press. His breathing turns uneven, his jaw tightening like heâs physically holding himself back.
âYou made me feel like I was a burden,â you continue, the words tumbling out, years of buried pain unraveling in real time. âLike you had to tolerate me between meetings and emails. Like being with me was just another responsibility to check off your list.â
He exhales sharply, like the airâs been knocked out of his lungs. His fingers twitch, gripping the desk so tightly that his knuckles go white. âThatâs notââ He stops, biting his tongue, like even he canât bring himself to finish that sentence.
A bitter laugh escapes you. âYou donât even believe yourself, do you?â
Seungcheol stands abruptly, chair scraping against the floor, his composure unraveling before your eyes. âI worked so damn hard for us,â he says, voice raw.
Your voice is small. âI never asked you to.â
His lips part, and for the first time since you stepped into his office, his expression isnât blank or coldâitâs vulnerable. And it terrifies you.
His expression cracks, pain flickering through his eyes. âI was trying to build a future for you,â he says, voice raw, desperate. âFor us.â
âYou were so busy planning a future that you forgot to love me in the present.â
A tense silence falls between you, the weight of the past pressing down on both of you like an unbearable force. His breaths are uneven, his knuckles white from how tightly heâs gripping the edge of his desk.
Finally, he exhales, a bitter, tired laugh leaving his lips. He looks down at the proposalâstill sitting there, untouched, still rejected.
âThis meeting is over,â he mutters, his voice hoarse.
Your heart clenches painfully, but you nod, blinking rapidly to push back the tears. Without another word, you turn on your heel and walk out, leaving behind the shattered remnants of everything you once were.
When you get back to the safe haven that is your apartment, you retrace everything he had said. Or, rather, the accusations he had thrown at you.Â
âYou left me.â
âI was the one you abandoned in Seoul.â
âWhy didnât you fight for us?â âWhy didnât you?â
âI was trying to build a future for you. For us.â
Your heart strangely aches, remembering how shaken he looked when you called out his workaholic behavior. You had blamed him for the end of it all, but it takes two to end a relationship. Why didnât you fight harder for him, back then?Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Four Years Ago
Youâre alone now. Itâs what you wanted. To be free from the self-doubt that loving Seungcheol had drilled into you.Â
Your chest constricted so tightly, you couldnât breathe.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
Two days after the disastrous office meeting, youâve somehow managed to have the misfortune of sitting in front of your ex-boyfriend at a steakhouse for work. The restaurant is dimly lit, the low hum of conversation and clinking glasses filling the space. Your body practically vibrates from the tension.Â
You can see Seungcheolâs gaze turn sharper every time he looks at you, and it makes it all the more insulting when he immediately brightens at Director Chun. You chug another glass of wine, hoping the buzz will numb the annoyance bubbling within you.Â
âThank you, Director,â you say, reaching over the table to shake your superiorâs hand. âIt was a pleasure.â
âNo, thank you, Team Leader,â he chuckles. âWeâre lucky to have such competent, young people working for us. Iâm sure the Brennans will be thrilled to see this project come to a close so quickly.â
Seungcheol laughs. âWeâre lucky to have you, Director.â
Itâs so fake, youâre itching to get rid of the stupid grin off his smug face.Â
âIâm sorry I have to leave so soon,â the director continues. âIâll see you two back at the office?â
âOf course,â you say, standing up and bowing to him as he gets up from his seat.Â
When the director finally leaves, you canât help but clench your fists. Wanting to relieve the tension in your poor tendons, you reach for the wine bottle, refilling your glass for the nth time tonight. The rest of the restaurant is loud, but it is far too quiet in your corner of the room.Â
Now youâre alone with Seungcheol.
The air crackles with an unspoken tension, thick and suffocating. Seungcheol, across from you, has his fingers curled tightly around the stem of his wine glass. His knuckles are practically white, the pressure of his grip betraying the storm raging inside him.Â
He hasnât touched much of his food, and barely spoke beyond a few clipped replies to you. He had really only responded to Director Chun all night. But itâs nothing new. You have long learned to recognize this silence; itâs the same, bitter one that had stretched between you in the months before you left him.
You donât know why you told Joshua you could handle going to this. Why, after everything, did you let Seungcheol pull you into a setting so painfully intimate, so reminiscent of the past? The last time the two of you were in a restaurant like this, he had left for 40 minutes to take a call outside.Â
Seungcheol swirls his drink absentmindedly, watching the ice shift in the glass before finally speaking. âYou look well.â
You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head. âSmall talk? Really?â
His jaw tightens, and he sets his glass down with a quiet thud. âWould you rather we skip the pleasantries?â
âIâd rather we not pretend this is anything other than what it is.â
âAnd what is it?â
You lift your chin. âYou tell me.â
Seungcheol exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his hair. He looks at youâreally looks at youâfor the first time since you sat down, and it sends a shiver down your spine. Itâs the same expression he made when you were in his arms, four years ago.
The one that made you feel like the only person in the world. The one that he used to assure you that he loved you.Â
And you hate yourself, because you canât help but remember that he looked so good when he was yours. Worse, you canât help but notice how heâs still devastatingly handsome.Â
Only now, his gaze is shadowed with something darker. Something unresolved.
âYou know, when you told me you wanted to end things, I couldâve accepted it,â he says, voice steady, but his fingers twitch slightly against the edge of the table.Â
You swallow roughly.
âI couldâve accepted it if you said you just fell out of love with me,â he continues, âBut then.â He takes a deep breath. âBut then, you told me it was for my own good. That I wouldnât be able to handle long distance.â
Your hands grip your wine glass. You want to say something, but you donât know where to even start.
âYou told me you loved me, and thenâŚâ he trails, before shakily saying, âabandoned me, because I couldnât handle it?â He dips his head low, hands joining like heâs about to make a prayer.Â
âCheol, Iââ
âDonât. Just donât.âÂ
Seungcheol stares intensely at his half-eaten steak, a strand of hair coming down from his forehead to poke at his eyes. Despite yourself, your hand instinctively lurches to tuck it behind his ears, before you quickly jolt it back. A cloud of shame begins to envelope your mind. Itâs not fair. Why does your body remember him so well, even after he broke your heart?Â
He takes a shaky breath before speaking again. âAnd you know what? ThatâŚthat wasnât even the worst part.â Choked up, he takes a deep breath and clenches his hands into fists to ground himself before continuing. âWhatâs worse, was what you said at the end.â
You furrow your brows, thinking back to all those years ago, right after you told him that he could finally focus on his work, and right before you walked away from him.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Four Years Ago
âIâm sorry for wasting your time,â you whispered. You didnât dare to look at him. âIâm sorry I made you miss that convention for my birthday.â You sniffled, voice breaking. âYou shouldnât have had to do that. Iâm sorry I made you watch those stupid movies, and that I made you go out when you didnât want to. I shouldâve been more considerate of your dreams, Cheol. Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry I only realized it now. I shouldâveââ
You exhaled deeply, blinking your newest tears away. They fell down your cheeks in streams. âYou wonât have to worry about that kind of useless stuff anymore, okay? You donât need to deal with me anymore. Iâm sorry you had to handle all of that for so long. I, I really loâŚâÂ
You bit down on your lower lip, blinking desperately to get rid of your blurry vision. âI hope you get into the accelerator, Cheol. I know how hard youâve worked for it. If anyone can do it, itâs you.âÂ
One last time, you smiled at him weakly, not meeting his eyes. âGoodbye, Cheol.â
And then you turned your back from him, walking away from the love of your life, partly because you really did wish him well on his startup journey, and mostly because you knew he was only with you out of obligation to himselfâbecause he never loved you, anyway.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
âOh,â you say, eyes feeling strangely prickly.Â
âI loveâI loved you,â Seungcheol says, clutching his chest. He exhales roughly. âDid you not⌠see that?â
You blink rapidly.
His throat bobs as he swallows, eyes darting away for a brief moment. âI had plans for us,â he admits, voice quiet but strained.Â
At the sight of his clear pain, your stomach twists uncomfortably. âPlans?â
He nods slowly, still refusing to meet your eyes. The candlelight on the table flickers between you, casting shadows that dance across his face, highlighting the tension in his furrowed brow.Â
His mouth parts as if heâs about to say somethingâsomething importantâbut then he stops himself.
You reach across the table instinctively, your fingertips grazing his wrist. âSeungcheol. Donât do this to me.â
He tenses beneath your touch but doesnât pull away. Instead, he finally looks at you, and the sheer weight of emotion in his gaze nearly knocks the breath from your lungs. There is so much in his eyesâanger, regret, sadness, and a deep emotion you havenât dared call love in years. All tangled together in a way that makes it impossible to separate one from the other.
âI was going to propose to you,â he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper.
Your breath hitches. For a second, the world tilts, the steady hum of the restaurant fading into white noise. You blink, your mind scrambling to process the weight of his words. âWhat?â
Seungcheol lets out a short, humorless laugh, shaking his head as if mocking himself. âI had the ring. I had everything planned out.â He exhales sharply, rubbing a hand over his face. âI was just⌠waiting for the right time.â
A sharp, painful lump forms in your throat. âCheolââ
âBut you left before I could,â he cuts in, his voice breaking at the edges. His eyes are glassy now, raw with unshed emotion. âYou thoughtâŚyou thought I didnât love you enough. But I did. I loved you so much Iââ He sucks in a shaky breath, his hands balling into fists on the table. âI was trying so hard to build a future for us. I wanted to give you everything.â
Tears burn behind your eyes, and your hands are still on his arm, but theyâre shaking. âI didnât need âeverything,ââ you whisper. âI just needed you.â
His face crumples for a split second before he forces his expression blank again. âI thought I was doing the right thing.â
Silence stretches between you, thick with everything you had never said to each other. The weight of missed moments, of love given but not received in the way it was needed, settles over the two of you like a monstrous thunderstorm.Â
You nearly choke on the sob threatening to break free from your throat. âWhy didnât you say anything?â
His voice is hoarse, like he has swallowed glass. âWould it have changed anything?â
You want to say yes. You want to believe that if he had just told you, things would have been different. But deep down, you arenât sure. Because the truth was, you had already been slipping away from each other long before you had walked out the door.Â
You had told him you were leaving him so he could focus on his work. You had told yourself you were leaving him because he didnât love you anymore. So, would you have really believed him if he had proposed to you? Youâre not sure, but thereâs no point in analyzing the hypothetical what-ifs, really.Â
Because now, looking at the man who had once been your world, you wonder if you had ever really left him at all.
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Three Years Ago
It was Seungcheolâs birthday. It hit you while you were at the grocery store, in the fresh produce section.
You saw cherries.
You cried.
Later that day, your finger twitched over his contact on your phone, before falling to your hips.Â
He was probably busy. He hadnât texted or called you since the breakup, after all. He definitely wouldnât want to hear from you even if he wasnât busy, anyway.Â
âIâm sorry,â you said out loud, knowing that the person who needed to hear it most wasnât there. âI miss you. Happy birthday.â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
You blink, and suddenly youâre outside. Thereâs a chilly wind blowing against you, making you shiver. When you try to take a step forward, you find your body is too sluggish to move much.Â
âYouâve had too much to drink,â Seungcheol says concernedly, his warm, strong hands finding an all too familiar spot against your waist.
âIâm fine,â you say, though your teetering body suggests otherwise.Â
Somewhere between watching Seungcheol laugh at Director Chunâs obviously not funny jokes and trying to give your hand something to do instead of ball into fists hearing his confession, you had drunk far too much of the expensive bottle of wine that the director had bought for the three of you.Â
Seungcheol says your name like itâs a warning, tone firm.Â
But you canât help but laugh. Youâre too close to him now. And oh, heâs so warm. Instinctively, your body presses against him, because itâs familiar and comforting and something youâve subconsciously been craving for the past four years with every fiber of your body.Â
âI missed you,â you blurt.Â
Seungcheol swallows roughly.Â
âFuck, donâtâŚâ He canât even bring himself to finish the sentence. âHow did you get here? Taxi?â
You shake your head. âToo much money. Subway.â
âIâll take you home, okay? Where are you staying now?â He squeezes your waist.Â
âMmh.â Thinking, you close your eyes, fully leaning into his touch.Â
Three days ago, the company told you to move out of the original apartment theyâd placed you in two weeks ago, and although youâd memorized how to get to your new place using the subway, you had yet to memorize the exact address. Youâd always looked at your phone to double check, thinking that youâd be fine if you were stranded, since youâd always have your phone on you. Unfortunately, though, you hadnât considered that youâd be lost if your phone died.Â
âThatâs not an address, sweetheart.â He inhales sharply, realizing his mistake after it leaves his lips.Â
âIâm sorry,â you say with a frown, tears welling in your eyes. âDonât remember.â
Here you were, wasting his time again. Youâd left him four years ago because you were a hindrance to his career, and now youâre doing it again. Old habits die hard, donât they?
You sniffle, âIâll sober up soon, donât worry. You can just leave me here. Iâll walk to the subway.â
Seungcheolâs throat bobs. âHey, hey, donât be sorry. I got you, okay? Iâll take you back to my place, if thatâs okay?â
You nod, your voice small. âOkay.âÂ
He breathes a sigh of relief.Â
Before you know it, Seungcheol has escorted you into the passenger seat of his car, and youâre on your way back to the house you had called your home only four years ago.Â
âDid you miss me?â you ask childishly, staring at the driver with sleepy eyes.
His Adam's apple bobs up and down.Â
For a moment, you donât think heâll answer. But then, he says softly, âI did.â
âOh,â you say, and then you feel your eyelids get heavier. You let them close.Â
Right before you fall asleep, you catch him whispering something that sounds a lot like, âI missed you so much, sweetheart.â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Six Months Ago
You blinked rapidly. âIn the fall?â
âYes,â Director Chun said. âIâll be heading over to the Seoul branch as well, for a few months at the very least. I promise youâll be under one of our best. Department Head Choi Seungcheol is known for being collaborative. Iâm sure the synergy will be great between the two of you.â
You froze. Surely, not.Â
âChoi Seungcheol?â you asked breathily.
âYes. Do you know each other?â
âNo,â you said, far too quickly.
âAh, I see. Perhaps he was impressed by the work you did with the Jeons,â the director said with a smile. âHe requested you directly.â
Oh.
Oh.
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
Sleep is supposed to be relaxing, isnât it? So why does it feel like your chest is going to cave in on itself, like a big boulder has plopped itself down on you?Â
You open your eyes quickly, only to be met with a mess of short, dark brown hair.Â
You try to blow on the hair, only to feel it enter your mouth. Itâs horribly dry.
âAck,â you spit.
And then it occurs to you that your hair has never tasted like this, or looked like this, for that matter.
You try moving one of your arms to get rid of the annoying strands, only to find that it has also been rendered immobile. You tense your core, trying to flop like a worm, but itâs of no use.Â
You furrow your brows, straining as hard as you can, but nothing happens.Â
For a moment, you wonder if youâre having a nightmare.Â
And then the boulder moves.
Your eyes widen into saucers. Thereâs only one explanation for this. Youâve only ever known one man who gives bear hugs in his sleep like this.Â
âChoi Seungcheol?â
âFuck,â it groans. âThought I told you not to call me that, sweetheart.â
You close your eyes, wondering if youâre still dreaming. But when you open them again, you see Seungcheolâs face.Â
Sleep lines are adorning his left cheek, and he blinks at you slowly. His pink lips are turned down in a slight pout, and the sight of him is so adorable, it makes you want to scream.Â
âDid youâŚâ you pause, mind racking an explanation. âFall asleep on top of me?â
âYou said you were cold,â he says slowly, eyes half-closed, voice deep.Â
âOh,â you say, then flush, feeling heat rush up the back of your neck and reach your ears. Trying to avoid eye contact with him, your eyes stray to your collarbone, and you see that youâre still wearing last nightâs clothes. âWait, did you let me into your bed with dirty clothes?â
âMmph,â he says, rubbing his face into the crook of your neck.Â
âWow,â is all you can manage. He never let you do that when you were dating.Â
âGo back to sleep, love,â Seungcheol mumbles.Â
âCanât breathe, Cheol,â you groan, patting his back. âToo heavy, baby.â
He groans but shifts off of you, then cuddles up next to you, hands finding your waist immediately. âFive more minutes.â
âMmh,â you sigh contentedly.Â
And as you close your eyes again, it occurs to you that Seungcheol is your ex, and that the two of you are definitely doing things that exes should not be doing.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ Two Weeks Ago
You folded your pride. You extended an arm out to him first.Â
âDepartment Head Choi Seungcheol, itâs a pleasure to work with you.âÂ
You spat his first and last name out like venom, knowing all too well that he hated being called by his full name.Â
He stared at your outstretched hand, then scoffed.
Fuck.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
When you wake up again, youâre alone in Seungcheolâs bed. Out of habit, your arm moves to pat the other side of the bed.Â
For a moment, your mind flashes back to the lonely mornings you had with him four years ago. The days when the first thing you did after waking up was to check the other side of the bed, only for it to be cold. The hope of it all had fractured your heart slowly, but surely.
But today, for some reason, Seungcheolâs side is lukewarm.Â
Confused at the lingering warmth, you sit up in his bed, rolling back the covers.Â
Is it possible that heâs still here?
Then, you smell the distinct scent of ramen through the door to his room, which has been left slightly ajar. Planning on checking the kitchen, you move to get off the bed. But before your feet reach the ground, Seungcheol walks in.
Heâs holding a tiny desk, the kind made for breakfast in bed. On it is a bowl of steaming ramen and a glass of water.Â
âMorning,â he says with a shy smile, and ohâoh, itâs so full of endearment and joy and hope, of all things.
God, something about it is just so, so pure and domestic, it makes your chest constrict. Seungcheol had never made you breakfast in bed when you had dated, because he had always been the first to leave in the morning.Â
But here he is, like he plans on making up for everything starting now.Â
And with how bright his smile is, your heart is aching to just let him.Â
âIs this⌠for me?â you ask in a small voice. Of course, it canât possibly be for anyone but you, but something in you wants Seungcheol to admit it.Â
Seungcheol nods.Â
âThank you,â you say.Â
âRamenâs your favorite hangover meal, right?â
You nod slowly, and Seungcheol grins, like heâs proud of himself for getting it right. But something about it pokes a nerve. What use is there in remembering it now, when youâre not together anymore?Â
He watches you eat slowly, and you raise your eyebrows at the taste.Â
âItâs really good,â you say between bites, giving a thumbs up.Â
âGood,â he says, making intense eye contact with you.Â
Heâs completely focused on you, phone and computer completely out of sight, and it makes you squirm. Now that his attention is on you without any distractions, itâs too easy to see how gorgeous he is.Â
You flush under his attention. âStop looking at me,â you mumble.
âDonât wanna,â he says dreamily, lying on his stomach on the bed, looking up at you with doe eyes.Â
You giggle, covering your face with your hands in embarrassment.
Seungcheol reaches out to swat your hands away from your face, taking the opportunity to hold your hands. When you look at him again, youâre taken aback by how serious he suddenly is.Â
Your laughter fades.Â
He takes a deep breath, and your heart sinks. You already know what heâs going to say.
âCan we⌠try agââ
âCheol,â you gently cut him off, withdrawing your hands from his familiar grasp. âLetâs not⌠weâre notâŚâÂ
âWhy not?â He looks at you innocently, with wide eyes.Â
You take a shaky breath. âI canât do this again, Cheol. Itâs not good for me, and itâs not good for you.âÂ
At first, he just blinks at you, as if he misheard. But then, something in his expression hardens. âWho says youâre not good for me?â
âWhat?â
âWho says youâre not good for me?â
âCheol,â you say with a sigh. âLetâs not do this again. Itâs not gonna work.â
âWho says?â his voice breaks.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââ One Week Ago
âAgain,â he said dryly. âRedo the business model.â
You held back your anger. âYes, Department Head Choi Seungcheol. Is there anything else you would like me to do?âÂ
âCare more,â he said.
You frowned. âI have my full focus on this project, sir.â
âCare more,â he repeated.Â
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
âIâve changed,â he says frantically. âI can prove it to you, I promise.â
Your chest constricts.Â
âI wonât ever let you be lonely again, I promise. I wonât let it happen, I swear. Iâm so, so sorry I hurt you back then, but Iâm not the same man you left. I will never hurt you again.â
You swallow roughly, the ramen leaving a salty aftertaste in your mouth.Â
âSeungcheolâŚâ
He shuts his eyes tightly, like youâve wounded him.Â
âPlease, call me Cheol again. Please, I canât stand to hear you call me that.â
âItâs your name,â you tell him gently.Â
âNo, itâs not. To you, Iâm Cheol,â he insists stubbornly, crossing his arms. You have to remind yourself to breathe at the sight. Since when was his body so defined? You have to look away from his pronounced biceps to regain your will.
âLook at me,â he says with a frown. You obliged and he continues, âSweetheart, please. I promise I will never hurt you again. Please, please, take me back.â
On the bed, heâs kneeling now, hands drawn together as if in deep prayer.
âI wonât let work get in the way of loving you. It was horrible and so stupid of me and Iâm so, so sorry but it was only when I lost you that I realized I forgot what the point of working was. It was to provide for you, and I couldnât do that if you were gone because I didnât properly show you the love you deserved. Iâm so, so sorry, my love. Please give me another chance?â
Seungcheol looks at you with so much sadness, but the history you had with his ghost makes you unsure about what to do.Â
âI donât know, CheolâŚâ
He smiles weakly, resigned. âAt least youâre back to calling me Cheol, though. Right?â
You nod slowly.Â
All of a sudden, Seungcheol lights up, like a last-minute godsend of an idea came to his mind. âIf itâs too hard to say yes now, how about taking it slow?â
âWhat does that mean?â His definition of taking it slow probably isnât like yours.Â
âI can take you out on some dates, and then you could decide?âÂ
Your heart sinks. Heâs so hopefulâeyebrows raised, eyes wide, mouth parted.Â
You donât know if you have it in you to say no.
You press your lips together.Â
Seungcheol must have sensed danger in your face, because he immediately interjects with a rushed confession before you even open your mouth.
âI love you. So much. I loved you then, and I loved you after you left, and I love you now. There was no one after you, you know?â He looks a bit crazed, hands scrunching the blankets roughly.Â
Your heart jolts.Â
He continues, âYou were everything to meâand still are. There wasnât a single day that I didnât think about you. But I couldnât bring myself to reach out because I thought you hated me.â
Heâs not exactly wrong. You did hate him. Then again, thereâs a fine line between love and hate. Both are powerful emotions that require you to care about the person in question.Â
âI even quit the startup because I realized it had eaten up all my time, âcause it had taken you away from me.â
You gasp. This was the answer to why Choi Seungcheol, self-made entrepreneur who insisted on refusing to work for anyone but himself, had strangely become the department head of a company that he never had a hand in creating.Â
âI was,â he sighs self-deprecatingly, âunemployed for a while. Until I heard you were working here, and then I made it my mission to climb the ranks until I could ask for you to get transferred to Seoul. And when you accepted, I was soâŚâ
Your heart breaks a little for him.
âI thought it was a sign.â Hesitantly, he clarifies, âThat you might want to try again.â
You inhale sharply. There he goes, again. Talking so sweetly. Back then, that was all he ever did to show you that he loved you. It wasnât enough then, so why would it be enough now?Â
At your silence, Seungcheol hangs his head, and your fingers twitch, wanting to reach out to him.
Except itâs different now, isnât it? Heâs finally doing all the things you once wished he would. Isnât that what you wanted from him? You donât trust him yet. But heâs trying, now, and every muscle in your body aches with an impossibly deep desire to pull him into your arms.Â
You exhale, and out with your breath goes your final worries.
Your lips part before youâve fully decided what to say.Â
"Okay."
Itâs barely a whisper, but it might as well be a strike of thunder with the way Seungcheolâs head snaps up. His eyes widen, mouth parting like heâs afraid he misheard you.
"Okay?" His voice trembles, cautious, like one wrong move could shatter whatever fragile thing is forming between you.
Your throat tightens. The weight of thisâof himâpresses down on you, but you nod anyway.
For a second, he doesnât breathe. Then, his face crumples, and the sheer relief in his expression makes something in you splinter. His hands twitch where they rest on the blankets, like he wants to reach for you but doesnât dare. Heâs waitingâbecause this time, he knows he has to let you come to him.
And you do.
Slowly, hesitantly, you lean forward. His breath hitches, but he doesnât move away. Your forehead brushes his, a soft press that feels like a heartbeat between you. You feel the warmth of his skin, the way his breath mingles with yours in the inches of space that remain.
Seungcheol exhales shakily, like heâs been holding it in for years. His hands hover near your waist, unsure, unsteady. He doesnât pull you closerâheâs learned nowâbut he craves it.
Your eyes flutter shut, leaning into his touch, telling yourself itâd only be for a second. Just long enough to let yourself feel him, really feel him, without the weight of the past crushing you.
His voice is barely above a whisper, breath fanning across your lips. âSweetheartâŚâ
You could fall apart at the way he says it, so quiet, so reverentâlike heâs afraid youâll disappear if he speaks too loud.
Your heart aches for more, but your mind reminds you of how he had left scars in your heart. For now, this form of affection would have to be enough.Â
After a few minutes in his arms, you reluctantly pull away to check the address of your new apartment on your finally-charged phone. Seungcheol drops you off, walking you to your door. You donât invite him in, and he doesnât ask. But something about the way he looked at you, right before you walked inside your apartment, lingers in your mind long after he leaves. Heâd looked at you like youâd hung every glittering star in the sky.Â
Four years ago, you had decided that this gaze was something heâd manufactured while putting up with you. Maybe, you were wrong.
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
Seungcheol keeps his promise of taking things slow. Heâd arranged for you to meet him at a cafe the next day, and heâs already there when you get there. Itâs a small, cozy place tucked into a quieter part of the city, the kind with warm lighting and the scent of freshly ground coffee drifting in the air.Â
You hesitate for a second when you see him through the window, seated at a booth near the back, fingers idly tapping against the ceramic cup in front of him. Then, before you can second-guess yourself, you push open the door.
His eyes meet yours instantly, and for a moment, he looks breathlessâlike heâs just as nervous as you are. But then he smiles. Itâs a tiny, careful thing, but it makes your heart drum a little faster anyway. As you approach, he stands up, hand on his heart.
âHey,â he says, voice soft, like heâs afraid to scare you away.
âHey,â you reply, sliding into the seat across from him.Â
The booth is familiar. For a second, youâre struck by the memory of late-night conversations, of stolen kisses over half-finished drinks. You really were deep in love, back then.
You shake the thought away as Seungcheol gestures toward the counter.
âStill the same order?â he asks, the corner of his mouth lifting in something that isnât quite a smirk but close enough that you recognize it as one of his signature expressions. You raise an eyebrow.
âYou think Iâd change it?â
âI donât know,â he admits, tilting his head slightly. âA lot of time has passed.â
You exhale a small laugh. âYeah, well. Some things stay the same.â
Something shifts in his gaze, a flicker of relief, of hope, before he nods. He waves down a barista and places the order without hesitationâexactly how you like it. When the cup is finally set in front of you, you find yourself staring at it for a beat too long, a strange warmth pooling in your chest.
âThanks,â you murmur, wrapping your fingers around the cup.
Seungcheol watches you, his own drink forgotten, but he doesnât push. Instead, he leans slightly forward, forearms resting on the table as he asks, âSo, whatâs new?â
You take a sip, letting the warmth settle in your stomach before answering. âWell, I have a wedding to go to next month.â
His eyebrows lift slightly, intrigued. âOh?â
âYeah. My coworker from the New York branch, Lee Chan, is getting married next month. I gotta fly out for it.â You swirl your drink absentmindedly, watching the steam curl into the air. âItâs kind of crazy. Feels like yesterday he was complaining about bad Tinder dates, and now heâs getting married.â
Seungcheol huffs a small laugh. âGuess he finally found the right person.â
âYeah,â you say, a little softer. âGuess he did.â
Thereâs a pause, and you realize that for all the implications, for the way the topic is naturally leading to the idea of a plus one, you donât bring it up. And, notably, neither does he. The question lingers, unspoken but present. Instead, Seungcheol shifts the conversation.
âYou still baking?â
You groan, dragging a hand down your face. âIf you can even call it that.â
He grins. âThat bad?â
âWorse.â You sigh dramatically. âI was trying to perfect my chocolate chip cookies, right? Like, I found this recipe online, and it looked completely foolproof. But somehow, I nearly burned down my apartment.â
His amusement vanishes instantly. âWhat?â
âI mean, not literally,â you backtrack quickly, waving a hand. âBut there was a lot of smoke. And my oven might hate me now.â
Seungcheolâs brows furrow in concern. âThat apartmentâs new, isnât it?â
You nod. âYeah, company orders. Still trying to get used to it.â
He exhales through his nose, tilting his head as he studies you. âIsnât it hard? Being in such an unfamiliar place?â
You blink, caught off guard. âOh, uh, I guess?â
His tone is casualâtoo casualâbut youâre not oblivious. You see the way he watches you intently, the way heâs gauging your reaction. He thinks heâs being subtle, but itâs clear what heâs hinting at. Someday, maybe you wonât have to be in an unfamiliar place. Maybe you could come back home, to me.
You let out a small breath, looking down at your drink. âItâs fine,â you say after a moment. âItâs just an adjustment.â
Seungcheol doesnât push, but his fingers tighten slightly around his cup. âIf you ever need anythingâŚâ
âI know,â you say, and you mean it. Because for the first time in a long time, it feels like he actually means it, too.
The conversation shifts again, moving from baking disasters to random anecdotes about work, about old stories that slip out without either of you realizing. And throughout it all, you notice something: Seungcheol is listening.
Not just nodding along, not just waiting for his turn to speak. Heâs really listeningâleaning in, responding at the right moments, his gaze locked on yours with a kind of attentiveness that makes your stomach flip in a way you donât want to acknowledge yet.
Itâs different. Heâs different.
And maybe, just maybe, thatâs why this doesnât feel like a mistake.
Fuck, do you love him, still?
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
After the weekend cafe date with Seungcheol came the work week, much to your displeasure. Today has been an especially exhausting day. The kind that seeps into your bones, weighing down your limbs, making even the simple act of unlocking your apartment door feel like a chore. You barely manage to kick off your shoes before collapsing onto the couch, groaning into the cushions.
You didnât even hear your phone buzzing at first. It takes a few rings before you muster enough energy to blindly fumble for it.
âHello?â Your voice is muffled, with your face buried against the pillow.
âYou sound dead,â comes Seungcheolâs voice, laced with amusement but tinged with concern.
âFeel like it too,â you groan. âLong day.â
There was a pause on the other end. Then, softly, âHave you eaten?â
âI had lunch,â you say.Â
Another pause. Then, decisively, âIâm coming over.â
âWhat? No, you donât have toââ
âToo late. Iâm already on my way.â
And just like that, the call ends. You blink owlishly at your screen, a bit too drained to call him back in protest.
Twenty minutes later, a knock comes from your door.
When you open it, Seungcheol stands there, hair still slightly tousled from the wind outside, carrying a takeout bag in one hand and a six-pack of your favorite drinks in the other.
âYou used to drink these when you were stressed,â he says, holding up the pack as if that explains everything.
Your heart does something funny in your chest, but do your best to ignore it. Instead, you step aside, letting him in for the first time.Â
Seungcheol makes himself comfortable in your kitchen, as if itâs the most natural thing in the world. He unpacks the food and searches for utensils without asking you for help. And before you know it, youâre sitting at your small dining table, warm food in front of you, while he nudges a drink toward your hand.
The silence is comfortable. You didnât realize how much you needed this until nowâuntil the tension in your shoulders starts to ease, until the simple act of eating next to someone who cares about you makes the world feel a little less heavy.
At some point, you sigh, rolling your neck to work out a kink. You hadnât meant for it to be noticeable, but Seungcheol caught it immediately. Without a word, he shifts his chair closer and places a warm hand against your shoulder, thumb pressing gently into the tension there.
You freeze.
âItâs okay,â he murmurs, voice softer now. âI got you. Just relax.â
And somehow, without even thinking, you do.
It isnât grand, or dramatic, really. Itâs just the quiet comfort of someone who knows you better than you thought he did. Who is all of a sudden remembering the little things, after all these years. He eases the weight of the world off your shoulders without even trying.
You donât pull away.
And neither does he.
ââââŕ¨ŕ§ââââÂ
A week later, and the workday is winding down. But the plans youâve been looking forward toâa nice dinner that feels like a step forward, another stitch in the frayed edges between you and Seungcheolâsuddenly teeter on the edge of collapse.
Youâre gathering your things when Director Chun steps into the office, looking around before his gaze lands on Seungcheol.
"Department Head Choi Seungcheol," Chun calls, his voice even but firm. "I need you to stay back for a bit. The New York office just called me about a misalignment between Mr. Hanâs vision and the work we submitted to their team. We need to smooth it over before tomorrow morning. I estimate it wonât take very long."
Your breath catches. Director Chun always sugarcoats things. It wouldnât be just a couple more minutes, itâd be several hours of extra work.Â
Itâs just a few words, a simple request by the director. But itâs enough to send you spiraling.
Because you've been here before.
You know how this story ends.
Your grip tightens around the strap of your bag as a million thoughts flood in, rapid and overwhelming. Heâs going to say yes. Of course, heâs going to say yes.Â
Work will always come first. It always has, always will.Â
Heâll put you second again, and youâll be left waiting, just like before.
The words you want to sayâplease donât go, pick me, just this onceâstick like molasses to the back of your throat.
You canât stay here to hear him confirm it. You canât bear to watch it happen all over again.
You walk away before Seungcheol answers the director, your feet carrying you toward the stairwell in a daze. The second the heavy door shuts behind you, a shaky breath escapes your lips. Your fingers press against your temples as you squeeze your eyes shut, willing away the sting that threatens to turn into tears.Â
Your chest constricts so harshly, you think you might be having a heart attack.
It shouldn't hurt this much.
But it does.
The past and present blur together in your mindâmemories of cold dinners, of unanswered texts, of waiting and waiting and waiting. Until you stopped waiting altogether.
Why on earth did you think that things would be any different, now?Â
The door swings open with a rush of air.
"Sweetheart?"
Your stomach drops.
Seungcheol steps inside, eyes scanning the dimly lit stairwell before landing on you. His brows pull together in concern as he closes the distance between you.
"Hey," he murmurs, reaching out hesitantly. "Whatâs wrong?"
You shake your head, stepping back before his fingers can brush against your arm. "You donât have to be here, Cheol."
He frowns. "What are you talking about?"
Defeated, you let out a humorless laugh, gesturing vaguely. "You donât have to chase after me just to make me feel better about you choosing work over dinner. I get it. I know how this goes."
A pause. Then, softly, "Is that what you think happened?"
The sincerity in his voice makes you falter.
You blink at him, your heart pounding, confusion creeping in through the cracks of your resolve. "What do you mean?"
Seungcheol exhales, running a hand through his hair before stepping closer. This time, you donât move away.
"I told Director Chun I couldnât stay," he says, voice steady. "I told him I had a prior commitment, and that I wasnât going to break it."
Your eyes widen comically. "What?"
His lips twitch into something thatâs not quite a smile, but close. "I said no, sweetheart. I told him I had somewhere more important to be."
More important.
Your throat tightens.
"Youâ" The words catch, and you have to stop yourself from immediately replying, trying to process it. "You said no?"
"I did." His gaze softens, the weight of the moment settling between you. "I told you I wouldnât let work come between us again."
His voice is quiet, but it carries yearsâ worth of unspoken apologies.
Of love that had once been misplaced, misdirected, but never truly lost.
Your eyes flicker over his face, searching. And the truth is written in the way he looks at youâopen, unwavering, as if heâs willing you to believe him.
And you do.
Itâs terrifying how easily you do.
The wall youâd built, the one meant to protect you from this very moment, begins to crumble under the warmth in his gaze.
Your breath shudders. "CheolâŚ"
His hand lifts, hovering near your cheek, close enough that you can feel the heat of it but not touching. His wide, sparkling eyes look eagerly into yoursâgiving you the choice, letting you decide.
Your chest tightens at his cute patience, the silent question lingering between you.
The space between you grows smaller.
You donât know who moves first, but suddenly, youâre impossibly close, the tips of your noses nearly brushing. His breath fans over your lips, and your eyes flutter shut.
He doesnât move to kiss you, but thatâs okay. Because youâre finally ready to cross that line.Â
Tilting your chin up into him, your lips meet, and the warmth of him grounds you in a way that nothing else ever replaced, or ever could. His lips are so, so, soft, and as he melts into the kiss, he lets out a small content sigh. Everything about him is familiar, and yet, somehow different. Itâs charged with a kind of electric buzz, the tension from the past weeks finally coming to a head.Â
For a moment, the world is still. You only see Seungcheol.Â
Then, in a voice so soft it almost disappears into the quiet of the stairwell, Seungcheol parts from your lips for just a centimeter, whispering, "I meant what I said. You donât have to worry anymore. Iâm 110% for you, I love you."
You close your eyes, exhaling against his skin, relishing his touch. And you say the next words with a full chest, âI love you so much, Cheol.â
Because for the first time in a long time, you believe him.Â
Masterlist
Author's Note: did u get the title?? seungcheol's the python bc he makes ur chest constrict and love is hard and hurts us sometimes anywayz happy valentines day <3
Disclaimer: nothing i write is representative of how svt acts off camera, take their names as stand-ins for oc's!!
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